To vs. Too vs. Two (CM Punk’s Grammar Slam)


– Hey everyone, this is superstar wrestler and star of Girl on the
Third Floor, CM Punk, welcoming you back to Grammar Slam, where I interact with you, the fans, and correct your awful, awful grammar. We’re back baby and this time it’s spooky. (lighting crashes) (wolf howls) Today we’re dealing with
one of the oldest mistakes in the history of grammar crimes, which to, too, or two should you use? Now I know what you’re thinking, there’s three ways to say to? That doesn’t add up. Well, yes, it God damn does. Lets start with the simplest form, two. Two is a number, t-w-o,
it’s pronounced the same as the other forms,
however, it’s just a number. We don’t deal with
numbers here, all right? (beep) math. The number two is, apparently, something that you’re a piece of. Moving on, t-o, to has a ton of meanings. It is used in the infinite form of a verb, as in, the demon is going to rend your flesh from your bones. It’s a preposition
indicating movement, as in, the killer is coming to our house. Or, can you please not
give the butchers knife to the man in my basement. It can also show change of condition, as in, the blood spilled out of his neck, turning his face from
a happy-go-lucky smile to a look of abject horror. And finally, my favorite too, t-o-o, indicates an excessive
amount of something. Something like, you can never
have too much Grammar Slam. You can say I’m not feeling so good because I’ve been stabbed too many times. Or maybe, the zombie in
my attic is scratching at the door too loudly. Zombies are always loud. Now, in addition, to all this, it could mean in addition,
or also, as well. As in, the monsters
claws ripped my face off and severed my spinal cord too. Here, let me give you an example of a way to use all three to’s
in the same sentence. (clears throat) Oh Jeremy. If it’s not too much trouble could you go to the kitchen
and grab me two bottles. (intense music) All right, now, you know what’s
going to happen, don’t you? – You’re gonna smash me
with those two bottles? (negative beep) No, have we learned nothing? I’m gonna smash you
with these two bottles. – Wait, hold on, those
too, or two bottles? (glass shatters) GRAMMAR SLAAAAAAAAAAAM! Thank you so much for
watching Grammar Slam. I truly hope you learned something
extremely valuable today. But, be sure to check my
movie, Girl on the Third Floor, in theaters, and on digital
platforms October 25th. And, for more Grammar Slam
keep it locked on nerdist.com. (tinkly music) (cards shuffle)

69 Replies to “To vs. Too vs. Two (CM Punk’s Grammar Slam)

  1. Now imagine what it's like for a non native English speaker when they learn we have hundreds of definitions for words like Set and Run.

  2. I enjoyed this. CM Punk has a very good delivery. I'm hoping for something a bit more in depth in the future. Keep it up.

  3. Grammar Slam is back? Which means more CM Punk insulting me based on my sh!t grammar!?!? Well count me the f#ck in!!

  4. Reading comments on YouTube or Twitter and seeing “to” used much too often bothers me as well (ducks from any incoming bottles).

  5. I can't type in the number two because my w button doesn't work so how do I work around that because my w button doesn't work

  6. I knew CM Punk back in high school, but I only figured that out while listening to his interview on ID10T a few weeks ago. Just wanted to share that with the group. Thanks for reading!

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