Key & Peele – School Bully


[bell rings] [indistinct chatter] – [laughs]
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? WHY YOU READIN’, BITCH? – BECAUSE I LIKE TO READ,
AND THIS IS A REALLY GOOD BOOK. – YOU’RE A REALLY GOOD BITCH,
BITCH. – WHY YOU GOTTA
BOTHER ME, MAN? – BECAUSE.
[dramatic piano music] I’M NOT DOING
VERY WELL IN SCHOOL. I’M READING
AT A THIRD-GRADE LEVEL. I REALLY DON’T WANT
TO GET LEFT BACK, SO WHEN I SEE SOMEBODY
READING FOR FUN, IT MAKES ME FEEL
THAT MUCH MORE STUPID! AND THEN I GET MAD!
[music stops] – UM, I DIDN’T
KNOW THAT. I– THANKS SO MUCH
FOR OPENING UP TO ME– – SHUT UP, QUEER! – I DON’T UNDERSTAND. WHY–I MEAN,
WHY YOU GOTTA GO THERE? [piano music] – I’VE BEEN HAVING
SEXUAL FANTASIES ABOUT SOME OF
THE OTHER GUYS AT SCHOOL. – WHAT?
– GIMME THAT! I’M AFRAID OF THESE FEELINGS
AND WHAT THEY MIGHT MEAN. IT’S LIKE, BECAUSE
I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH, I GOTTA
POINT THAT HATE OUTWARD TOWARDS YOU!
[snickers] [music stops] – YOU UNDERSTAND THIS
ON SUCH A DEEP LEVEL THAT– – I DON’T UNDERSTAND [bleep]!
– WHOA! – NOW I’M GONNA
PUNISH YOU PHYSICALLY FOR ACKNOWLEDGING
MY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS! – WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, I WAS GONNA SAY IF YOU
UNDERSTAND YOURSELF SO WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TRY WORKING ON CHANGING IT. – OF COURSE
I WANT TO CHANGE IT! BUT IT’S THE ONLY
DEFENSE MECHANISM I HAVE AGAINST DEEPER, MORE TERRIFYING
PROBLEMS BURIED INSIDE OF ME! [brakes squeak] YOU’RE LUCKY MY DAD’S HERE.
[piano music] – [banging]
GET IN THE DAMN TRUCK, SON. I NEED TO TAKE YOU HOME AND BEAT
ON YOU ‘CAUSE I HATE MYSELF. AND YOU LOOK LIKE
YOUR MOTHER WHO LEFT ME. THEN I’M GONNA BLOCK OUT
THE GUILT I FEEL OVER MISTREATING YOU
WITH A RIVER OF VODKA. – I’M GONNA INTERNALIZE THAT AND UNKNOWINGLY TRANSFER IT
ONTO YOU TOMORROW. ♪ COMING RELUCTANTLY.

100 Replies to “Key & Peele – School Bully

  1. The guy on the blue shirt must be thinking if he's still on Earth or he's got telepathy or something…

  2. Psychological projection is a defense mechanism in which the human ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others. So next time you are being verbally abused in You Tube you know why lol 🤣🤣🤮🤮🤮

  3. I actually had a bully just like that, white guy. One day I asked him why he always beats me up, as he was walking away he turned around and said, "because the niggers in my class keep beating ME up". After that he didn't mess with me no more.

  4. Illumanti soul for you
    Any one else wanna be a star 🌟.all u gotta do dumb ass is b ass .not me God n Jesus first . Amen

  5. I wish someone tried bullying me so I can whoop that ass and they never bully anyone again lmao but never happens and it sucks when I hear about someone killing themselves because of some fag

  6. And that's why the book reader stabbed him the next day after reading a book on how to wield a knife professionally

    Now the bully wanders the streets alone looking for his insane brother

    At least he's got a nickname for himself now, he calls himself jigsaw

    He's never let anybody know that he got cut up by a nerd

    He claims he fell into a vat of broken glass that was churning and swallowed him up as his crime operation was busted by some undercover cop

    And the nerds knife defender went on to teach knife defense to nerds in school

    Only bullys turned up instead for his classes

    and so all the bullies ended up using knives instead of their fists

    Which caused the nerds to start bringing guns to school who became so scared that they used the guns one day and the bullies just laugh when they are alone and say to themselves those nerds are just too damn scared of people

    Now the nerd sits in prison waiting for the bully to come visit him and congratulate him on killing a bunch of people

    And the bully is like
    I ain't going to go visit no dang nerd that killed a bunch of people all I ever did was pick on people, I never killed no one

    But then a bully at another school are the people from the news were really afraid of the crazed gunman running through the school

    So the bully at the other school took a gun to school one day and killed a bunch of people and now he's sitting in jail or dead

    Moral of the story is don't worry about if people are scared of you or if they want you to be scared of them
    Which they'll say they were trying to get you to stick up for yourself and defend yourself because you look defenseless

    Just say to the bully

    is this going to be a free lesson in self-defense because I'm a kid and I don't have any money

    I will also add that this might be the reason you're not going to end up with any money later on in life for working for free 🤷

    It might work it might get you beat up 🤷

    you could always mention that if you keep doing this to nerds that all the nerds will band together form a gang of their own and come hunt you down, just when you think you've settled into a good job

    And look at them and say oh my God you're me in the future doing this to you

    They'll day no way man you'll never bully me

    Say okay, keep thinking that way

    If you head this I will say non advice, you might do some jail time…

    Either learn to get picked on or end up in jail 🤷

    Getting picked on last a couple minutes but you're free to roam around afterwards

    Jail I'm guessing sucks

  7. You could always say how long is this going to take, I only got a couple minutes

    but I know you, you're going to be the sneaky devil to escape all those jail sentences, untill one day

  8. Some bullies are just people with malicious intents. They're very cynical and sadistic, and seeing you suffer gives them pleasure.
    Those are the real scary ones.

  9. If only the animals could truly talk. Nah, best to catch them alone at night with a baseball bat and widen their awareness.

  10. Wow, the depth of subconscious trauma that bullies have to release from the misery of life's stress and lack of love. To display it this way was incredible and genius work by Key & Peele.

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