Key & Peele – Loco Gangsters – Uncensored


– all: OH!
– WHOO HOO HOO! – EDUARDO, MAN,
YOU ARE SO LOCO, MAN! – WOW. – WE NEED A CRAZY VATO
LIKE YOU IN OUR GANG. – SI. – WITH THIS BANDANA,
I WELCOME YOU TO THE GANG. – YO. HOLD UP. – OH…KAY. – WHAT’S GOING ON? – HEY.
CARLITO. UH, I WAS JUST WELCOMING EDUARDO
INTO THE GANG. – WHY?
WHO HE? WHAT HE DID? – HE’S–HE’S CRAZY, MAN. WE–WE WERE THINKING
THAT THE GANG NEEDS A CRAZY GUY. – YEAH, YEAH, MAN.
THIS GUY IS LOCO. SHOW HIM, EDUARDO. LOCO! – THAT’S MUY LOCO. – LOCO.
HUH? – NO, NO.
I’M THE LOCO ONE IN THIS GANG. – WHAT?
OKAY, OKAY. – CHECK THIS OUT. QUACK, QUACK, QUACK.
QUACK-QUACK. I’M A DUCK. I’M A CRAZY DUCK. – NO–CARLITO.
– QUACK. – CARLITO, IT’S NOT THAT KIND OF
LOCO, OKAY? THAT’S MORE LIKE, YOU KNOW,
ZAINY. OR–OR GOOFY. – YEAH.
– IT’S THE WRONG KIND OF LOCO. – YOU WANT TO SEE LOCO? – CARLITO.
YOU’RE NOT CRAZY. YOU’RE LIKE, UH, THE QUIET ONE. – I’M NOT QUIET. I NEVER BE CAUGHT
BEING QUIET. IN FACT, I’M ALWAYS LOUD.
CHECK IT. AHH. – OKAY.
OKAY. THAT WAS WEIRD. THAT WAS–WERE YOU YELLING? – I’LL SHOW YOU LOCO RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, YO. – CARLITO, NO.
– OH, MY GOD. – CARLITO, PULL UP YOUR PANTS,
HOMES. – I GOT TILIKUM ON MY UNDERWEAR. THAT’S THE BLACK FISH. I’M NAKED,
AND I DON’T EVEN CARE. – CARLITO, YOU GOTTA
PULL ‘EM UP, OKAY? THERE’S, LIKE, CHILDREN
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, OKAY? – OKAY.
BUT CHECK THIS OUT. I GOT NINE PUNCH CARDS
FROM FROYO UNIVERSE, EACH WITH A ONE STAMP IN IT. EVERY TIME I GET A FROYO,
I GET A NEW CARD. – CARLITO, THAT’S JUST BEING
CAVALIER WITH YOUR FINANCES INSTEAD OF COLLECTING
YOUR FREE DESSERT. I MEAN, THAT’S NOT LOCO. THAT’S JUST, LIKE,
FINANCIALLY IRRESPONSIBLE. – I MIGHT NOT BE LOCO,
BUT YOU KNOW WHO IS LOCO? MY FRIEND MR. BASURA-HEAD. – HE’S DUMPING THE GARBAGE. – HI, I’M THE MOST LOCO PERSON
IN HERE. – CARLITO.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? – QUE? – CARLITO. OKAY. CARLITO…YOU DON’T HAVE
TO DO THIS, OKAY? IT’S NOT NECESSARY.
YOU’RE NOT THE LOCO ONE. – CHECK THIS OUT. DER.
I FEEL–YEAH, I’M CRAZY. I’M THE LOCO ONE. – CARLITO, PLEASE DON’T DO
IT AGAIN. – OHH! – CARLITO, STOP. – I’M IN TOO DEEP. – THIS IS LIKE WATCHING THE
BRITISH VERSION OTHE OFFICE.LIKE, IT’S FUNNY, BUT AWKWARD
AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME. – YES. – OH! – WELL, I THINK I JUST PROVED
THIS BOTTLE IS UNBREAKABLE. [glass shattering] – CARLITO.
YOU’RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. – LOOK AT THIS. – NO.
NO, NO, NO, CARLITO. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT? – I DON’T KNOW. I’M TOO CRAZY. OH! – CARLITO,
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, MAN? THAT WAS LOCO,
BUT NOT IN A ENTERTAINING WAY. – OKAY. – OKAY. – CARLITO, PUT DOWN THE GUN,
HOMES. – OH, DON’T YOU FEAR. – PUT THE GUN DOWN.
– PUT THE GUN DOWN. – THE CRAZY, CRAZY ONE IS HERE. – CARLIT–STOP!
– PUT IT DOWN. – OH, MY STAPLE HAND. – PUT THE GUN DOWN.
– DON’T DO THAT. – I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT.
– CARLITO, STOP TWIRLING IT. – LOCO, LOCO, LOCO.
WHERE SHE STOPS? NOBODY KNOW–CO-OH. – FUCK! CARLITO, YOU JUST
SHOT EDUARDO IN THE HEAD! – NOW I’M THE MOST LOCO
IN THE GANG? – YES, CARLITO,
BY PROCESS OF ELIMINATION, YOU’RE THE MOST LOCO PERSON
IN THE GANG. – YES. – all: OH! – LOCO! – HE CAUGHT THE BULLET.
ORALE! HE CAUGHT THE BULLET
IN HIS TEETH! – LOCO! – THAT’S THE MOST LOCO-EST THING
I EVER SEEN! – all: NO, NO!
[gun shot]

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