Fencing: Slow-mo Replay


>>WELCOME BACK TO THE WORLD
FENCING CHAMPIONSHIPS. HERE IN BEAUTIFUL PARIS, FRANCE.
WE ARE DOWN TO THE FINAL CONTENDERS PIERRE DE DEUX
AND BARTOLOMMEO POLODINO. IF YOU ARE JUST JOINING US,
WE HAVE SEEN AN UNBELIEVABLE DISPLAY OF FENCING PROWESS TONIGHT
WITH BOTH MEN TIED IN THE POINTS. LET’S JOIN THEM NOW FOR THEIR FINAL BOUT.
PIERRE LOOKING TO STRIKE EARLY. OH! AND IT’S OVER!
PIERRE DE DEUX HAS WON IT ALL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! LET’S PLAY THAT BACK IN SLOW MOTION.
BARTOLOMMEO ADVANCES, PIERRE BACKING UP. AND NOW COMES THE CROSS AND YES SPARKS!
YOU OFTEN DON’T SEE THOSE WITH THE NAKED EYE, BUT THANK GOODNESS FOR SLOW MOTION TECHNOLOGY. BOTH SABERS NOW LOCKED AND PIERRE THROWS
BARTOLOMMEO ASIDE, WHAT’S THIS? YES!
HE IS REMOVING HIS REGALIA AND TOSSING HIS MANE OF HAIR LIKE A LION.
NOT TO BE OUT DONE, BARTOLOMMEO RESPONDS IN LIKE MANNER– AND OH SOME VERY NICE FLARE
RIGHT THERE YOU HAVE TO LOVE BARTOLOMMEO. PIERRE NOW BACKS UP.
SIDE STEPS A BARREL. ROLLS IT FORWARD, BARTOLOMMEO STOPS IT.
AND YES, YOU PROBABLY MISSED THIS ‘CAUSE IT HAPPENED SO FAST,
BUT THIS BANQUET HALL WAS SET UP DURING THE BOUT. PIERRE, NOW ON TOP OF THE TABLE
FENCING AROUND THE BANQUETERS. BARTOLOMMEO UPSET ABOUT THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE LUNGES– OH!
AND THERE’S SOME COLLATERAL DAMAGE. HE DOES APPEAR TO BE A MINOR CHARACTER THOUGH SO NO HARM,
NO FOUL. PIERRE NOW JUMPS OVER THE SWORD OF BARTOLOMMEO.
VERY NICE AND NOW HE SWINGS AND IN RETURN BARTOLOMMEO GRABS A WOMAN,
NOT A MOVE YOU SEE USED TOO OFTEN ANYMORE, BUT STILL VERY AFFECTIVE.
PIERRE JUMPING OFF THE TABLE WITH A VERY NICE SPIN. PIERRE NOW ADVANCES WITH FENCING AROUND THE WOMAN. BARTOLOMMEO SPINS AND RECOMPOSES HIMSELF– HO HO!
WHAT’S THIS? YES, YES, IT’S A FOOT STOMP.
THE ONLY RECOURSE THAT DAMSELS IN DISTRESS HAVE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES. SHE FALLS INTO– OKAY, THAT SEEMS
A LITTLE GRATUITOUS, BUT SHE ENJOYS IT, SO THERE IT IS.
BARTOLOMMEO NOW ENRAGED COMES SWINGING UP AT PIERRE WHO
CASUALLY DEFENDS HIS PERSON WITH A CLASSIC MOVE KNOWN AS THE,
“I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO LOOK AT YOU, AND TO PROVE IT, I’LL HAVE A DRINK”
DEFENSE. VERY IMPRESSIVE.
BARTOLOMMEO THOUGH DOES NOT LOOKED PLEASED AND HE WINDS UP FOR A SPIN.
SPINNING OF COURSE IS TACTICAL SUICIDE, BUT IT’S WORTH RISKING DEATH
BECAUSE OF HOW COOL IT MAKES YOU LOOK.
BARTOLOMMEO COMES OUT OF THE SPIN WITH A CRUSHING SWING BLOCKED BY PIERRE.
PIERRE NOW SPINNING IN RETURN. BARTOLOMMEO JUST WATCHES–
AND WHAT IS HE DOING? YES, YES!
HE DOES IT! A CLASSIC MOVE!
HE SLICES THE CANDLES CLEAN IN HALF! AN OLDIE, BUT A GOODIE.
PIERRE NOW MOVING FORWARD. OH, BARTOLOMMEO CALLING IN FOR SUPPORT,
HIS CRONIES COME RUSHING FORWARD. PIERRE IS IN TROUBLE!
HE IS TACKLED TO THE GROUND AND DOG PILED AND–
NO! NO! HE GETS UP AND ALL GOES FLYING
BACKWARDS AS IS CUSTOMARY. PIERRE, NOW DUELING THREE MEN AT ONCE.
CAN HE BE EVEN MORE OF A MAN THAN HE IS RIGHT NOW? PUNCHED THE FACE, VERY UNFORTUNATE FOR THAT CRONY, THAT MAN BACKED INTO A WALL. AND NOW ALL THREE MEN FOOLISHLY STRIKE AT THE EXACT SAME TIME AND PLACE.
PIERRE THROWS THEM ASIDE WITH SEEMING EASE DESPITE THE OBJECTIONS FROM THE LAWS OF PHYSICS.
OH! BARTOLOMMEO NOW BOWING
AND OFFERING HIS SWORD IN SURRENDER. VERY CLEV– NO!
HE HAS A HIDDEN KNIFE AND HAS SLASHED PIERRE ACROSS THE HAND
AND NOW HE IS TAUNTING PIERRE. POSSIBLY BY TELLING HIM THAT
HE KILLED HIS FATHER YEARS AGO. VERY NICE DISPLAY OF CLASSIC
VILLAINRY BY BARTOLOMMEO. WHO NOW SEEMS TO BE HAVING
TROUBLE NOW WITH A CERTAIN MOVE LIFTING A SWORD WITH HIS FOOT.
HE IS CLEARLY NOT PREPARED FOR THIS. I THINK THIS MOVE MIGHT BE OUT OF HIS WHEELHOUSE.
TRY– THERE IT IS! BARTOLOMMEO NOW BACK IN FULL SWING.
HE ADVANCES ON PIERRE WHO THROWS HIM ASIDE. PIERRE NOW HAS THE OPPORTUNITY TO GRAB THE
SWORD, HE COMES CHARGING BACK AT BARTOLOMMEO.
BOTH MEN NOW FIGHTING LIKE LIONS OVER THE LAST PIECE OF ZEBRA.
PUSHING HIM BACKWARDS PIERRE ADVANCES. AND NOW YES!
THERE IT IS! THE STRIKE, THE POINT IS AWARDED
TO PIERRE DE DEUX. BOTH MEN SHAKE HANDS FOR A FIGHT WELL FOUGHT.
I DON’T THINK WE’VE SEEN THE LAST OF THESE TWO. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AND WE’LL SEE YOU ALL NEXT YEAR.

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