A Black Lady Sketch Show: Get the Belt (Full Sketch) | HBO


MAN: (ON TV)Uh, Pat,
I will take a T.
-(BUZZER SOUNDS)
-(AUDIENCE GROANS) MAN:Okay, okay, I got it.
I will take a lowercase T.
-(BUZZER SOUNDS)
-Buy a vowel, bitch! MAN:Ain’t none of those,
neither? Dang!
-Reniece!
-(BELL DINGS) KIMBER ZAK:
Welcome back to
Get the Belt, voted 1992’s favorite mother
versus child competition show. I’m Kimber Zak. And I’m Carmen Sipp. Tonight we’ve got
two dynamic contestants going head to head. Representing the home team is this season’s
early stand-out, Tonisha. Now, she’s been known to knock
challengers into next week. Yes. She recently took out
fan favorite Man Man with an early game spankout. Her opponent tonight is
her eldest daughter, Reniece. This 13-year-old dynamo
has been really focusing on her obedience and…
this season, she’s undefeated. Hand me the remote. CARMEN SIPP:Oh,
an absolutely brilliant
opening move from Tonisha.That remote is clearly
well within her own reach.
She’s using a frustration tacticto get Reniece
to show some attitude,
which would, of course,lead to an immediate
beat and defeat.
KIMBER:As we know,
many things can lead
to a spankout,
including showing disrespect,
raising your voice, or being told
to “Fix your face.” CARMEN: Let’s keep an eye
on the mouthal region
to see if Reniece
can hold it together.
Are you kidding me?Not a smirk or a smile!
Astonishing!
KIMBER:Wow!
She knows she nailed that one,
and boy, that must feel good!CARMEN:
Surely Reniece doesn’t think
it’s going to be that easy?
Fans know that if a child
crosses the threshold of her room without her mother
getting the belt, she wins. Mm.
Now Tonisha was born at night, but she wasn’t born last night. Surely she’s got
more in store here. -(KIMBER GROANS)
-CARMEN:Flag on the play.It looks like
the batteries are dead.
Get back here! Bring me some AA batteries. CARMEN:Oh! The dreaded
“If I Have to Get Up
and Find It Myself Challenge.”
KIMBER:Yeah,
no one wants this one.
Now historically, Reniece
has excelled at this obstacle, but she might be
battling some fatigue after playing 18 rounds of Slide, Slide Slippedy Slide
at recess today. CARMEN:This is where Tonisha’s
homecourt advantage
really comes in handy.KIMBER:Yeah, well,
an advantage she always has
because Reniece hasn’t paid
nan one bill around here.Let’s put 15 seconds
on the clock.
-♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
-(TIMER BEEPING) CARMEN:Oh,
she’s picked up the blue tin.
Not gonna be anything in there
but needles and thread.
Honestly, Carmen,
you never know, these items are never anywhere
that makes a lick of sense. CARMEN:
Uh! Looks like this might be
all she wrote for Reniece.
-(BUZZER SOUNDS)
-(KIMBER CHEERS)No hocus pocus,
just focus
on that by Reniece. Amazing.(INDISTINCT CHATTER FROM TV) ♪ (“THE BIG ONE” BY ALAN TEW
PLAYS) ♪ KIMBER:
And the channel is changed.
Textbook execution by Reniece.CARMEN:Earlier tonight,
Man Man worked
Tonisha’s last good nerve,
seems to have taken its toll.
(SNORING HEAVILY) …the coupon… As a player,
Reniece probably wants to head to her room
for the easy win. (COUGHING) But, as a child, Reniece clearly wants
to capitalize off of this rare chance to watch something
she has no business watching. Kimber, what’s your play here? Well, I was in the same position
back in 1979. I could either
watchFacts of Life,which my mother had banned, due to, quote,
“Jo’s lesbian energy,” or I could go to my room
for the easy win. -Now, I chose the W, because…
-(YAWNS) I knew
if I didn’t start nothin’… BOTH: …there wouldn’t
be nothin’, that’s right. ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(SNORING)
-(KIMBER AND CARMEN GROAN) CARMEN:Reaching for the remote,
that’s risky.
Most veteran players would waituntil Tonisha hit that good,
full sleep before making a move.
KIMBER:Oh!
Clearly Reniece disagrees,
she already has the remote.She’s not in the clear yet.Seventy-eight percent
of wakeups happen
during
the channel changing stage,
something about
the abrupt noise shift
is disrupting
to a snoozing parent.
Is she turning down the TV?I’ve never seen
this strategy before.
KIMBER:Wow,
we are either witnessing
an embarrassing
lack of judgement,
or a move that could,
quite frankly,
-revolutionize this sport.
-CARMEN:I mean…-(CHANNEL CHANGES)
-CARMEN:And she did it!-You go, girl!
-BOTH: Wow! These are the moments I live for
right here! This is what live TV is about! Whoa! I can’t breathe right now. -Whoa!
-Wow! (CHUCKLES) KIMBER:Making noise
while her mother’s asleep.
She’s just showboating now.I mean, this is… wow!-KIMBER:Uh-oh, bogie!
-CARMEN:Yikes!KIMBER:
Surprise attack by Man Man!
CARMEN:Uh-oh.You lettin’ all the cold air
out my house? Wh– It wasn’t me! TONISHA: And you talkin’ back? ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ CARMEN:And just like that,
it’s over.
Congratulations to Tonisha.KIMBER:Yeah, you know,
this was clearly Man Man’s fault
but as we’ve seen here
onGet the Belt before… BOTH:
…it doesn’t fucking matter. ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ You got shoes on in my house? Uh– Uh– No, ma’am,
of course not. I would never track outside
on your floors. ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ Uh… well, that’s it for us
here atGet the Belt,so tune in next time
when we find out whether or not I was too grown
to get a whoopin’! -TONISHA: You ain’t too grown!
-Run! TONISHA: You better run faster
than that, I used to run track! Thanks for watching
Get the Belt.
Be inspired.

95 Replies to “A Black Lady Sketch Show: Get the Belt (Full Sketch) | HBO

  1. Honestly, I didn't find this funny. There's a lot of issues I had with this sketch. Now, I know they're trying to be funny and all. But considering the fact, that black people are constantly being shown in a negative light, and treated as a monolith. This ain't it.πŸ™…πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ The single, angry, and abusive black mother narrative, is an issue here for me. As this is often used as a weapon, to degrade the black woman's image. Sure, you may laugh at it now, but given that we live in a society, that paints us all with the same brush. We can't afford to keep participating in this sort of f**kery. It's getting old. Besides, being black is not some sort of caricature.

  2. This is kind of why I’m anti-social and it’s also why I don’t come out of my room that much…πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ˜’

  3. So nooooobody peeped when she found that bag o' trees in the junk draw wit the rice, super glue and gravy mix thoπŸ˜†.. This show the definition of LEVELS gotdammitπŸ˜†

    "Surprise attack by Man ManπŸ˜‚"

  4. Poor parents traumatized too, they think if they put their children under kind of duress, it will prepare them for the "different world" of continual emotional, genocidal, racial, verbal,financial, spiritual, physical , and domestic abuse from "your People" and "THE MAN"….Human trafficking is alive and well in America and needs to be shutdown against My Sea'star Queens of the Olive and Copper Colored complexion…. She's ALL I care about, Now that I KNOW how she is the KEY to Huemanity…. I'll support her "self-esteem" and she'll support my "Ego"…

  5. I'm glad I never dealt with this and my parents had chemical dependencies😳😳😳 most hugging, kissing loving parents everπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ

  6. About 1 billion Africans, , masses of Carribeans, millions of Chancleta connoisseurs, even more South East Asians know, laugh and are grieving after watching this here. I'm trying to get my polyglot immigrants descendants to make the subtitles after that I'm starting a cult. Payback!

  7. My Parents never did this to me…But I now understand the cycle of toxicity that they broke…and I understand my cousins more.

  8. Omg I was triggered from my own childhood memories and also laughing so hard! Arab families have the same "Get the belt" game 🀣

  9. I have to get Wi-Fi to stream this show! They are hilarious and was right on point when its come to the "black" households…yes my mom kept thred and needles in the tin can…hahahaha! (Yes I'm black, melanin, African-american so I know)

    But mom didnt treat me that way…clearly the mother is lazy and has anger problems

  10. If your parent asks you to scratch a toe nail, DO IT. If they want you to do their laundry, DO IT GLEEFULLY. The only commandment with a promise/reward says you must honour your parents so that your days will be multiplied. This commandment builds so much self-esteem, belonging, peace and purpose that being without it, I was dead. Everyday I pray to God that I may live this out to the fullest of what God meant when He gave it. (Women love your husband's mom as if she were your own – a lot more people would stay married if this could happen – loving someone does not come with a condition for reciprocity – love is given freely with no expectation for anything in return). I can always do more to love the parent I have left in this world regardless of "feelings" and past. I love my Mom.

    Love your parents people. You will never be equal to them, and you will never get other ones.

  11. I’m probably one of the only people that wasn’t triggered by this video due to the fact my mom Never acted in this manner so I feel bad for the people that’s trigger but I find this clip very entertaining

  12. I see a lot of ppl talking about how toxic black parents are but I can get the postive side of that discipline. I think a lot of us forget that black parent went out to a different world and was preparing us for it. But regardless if anyone wants to admit it or not any style of parenting can turn out good or bad. Js and yes as someone who works in mental health.

  13. I understand everyone traumatized from whoopns but sometimes there needed..blk ppl got more respect for human life than any other and I feel our culture is the reason for that …pain n gain is part of that

  14. Yoooooo I do this to my children purposefully with the remote because it was done to me πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

  15. I think I find this funny because I can only barely relate. My mother never laid hands on me, but I did get a lot of lectures and scoldings for even just looking at her funny. I wasn't allowed to talk back, I wasn't allowed to leave the room, look at me when I'm talking to you. So I did. In an apparently disrespectful way. I was right in the middle of puberty so she might very well have had a point. I love my parents and we get along much better now, for the most part.

  16. "THESE ITEMS ARE NEVER ANYWHERE THAT MAKES A LICK OF SENSE"
    🀣 the fear of trying to find something so mom doesn't have to do it herself.

  17. I’m not a sensitive person, but this shit gives me ptsd. Like seriously it’s sad that a majority of went through this nonsense (get physically punished over such benign dumb shit ) &
    Then continue the cycle.

  18. Father never laid a hand on me. Remember mother mother smacking once and that’s it. Can’t relate to these comments 😳

  19. ALL BLACK MOTHERS ARE NOT LUKE THIS. THIS IS NOT YOUR RACE. DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER MINE YOUR OWN BUSINESS. my God I saw way to many comments about this

  20. The belt save my life, kept me out of a lot stuff, even if was somebody else fought at time, it taught me not to do it, thanks be to God for my parents discipline and not abusing…❀❀❀

  21. Everyone has their different ways of raising kids. I can't lie I did get whooping by my father and not my mother&while I was younger I tried only one time to jump my parents&Lets say I never tried again in my life. I can't say that my parents ever made me do what she did all the time, but sometimes they did. To me there's a difference b/w abuse and discipline but to each their own. For myself I never been to jail, I'm 25 and still say yes ma'am and no ma'am etc, I'm grown and wouldnt even curse in front of my parents or elders. Its nothing wrong with being your child friend but to just be a friend and not a parent is a problem, its so many kids out here killing their parents, beating them up&I hear I'm scared of my child. How do you as a parent be scared of your own child. I wish I would smh. I even once heard a child about 5yrs of age say to her mom B**ch get out my face and laugh and then the mom laugh along with her like really if that was me ill have all dental in my mouth til this day. But like I said some may have been abuse but for me it was good ole fashion whoopin and I appreciate every last bit of it because I wouldn't be the woman and mother I am today.

  22. My mother used to scream for me across the big ass house that we lived in. I'd drop whatever I was doing, run up the stairs, in to her room, only for her to ask me to change the channel on the television that was several feet away! It drove me nuts! I finally got mouthy about it! If she wasn't gonna change a channel, she certainly wasn't gonna chase me!

  23. Okay this is my new fave show. Never have I been so hooked to a sketch. Found it hilarious but listened to every word

  24. It is funny but sad at the same time. Like I can laugh at it now but that shit lowkey hurts and is why my therapist still gets paid.

  25. I grew up in SEMO and no matter the color of your parents…you got the belt. If you acted a fool at a friends house…you got the belt…by your friend's parents……….and then got the belt again when you got home.

  26. Wow! I found this just funny. It didn't trigger any negative reaction. I was spanked as a kid, but it was for doing wrong and explain to me why I was punished my mom picked up her own remote, OK. My Mother was Nothing like this, Thank G-d. The whole Sport theme, very creative. I don't see this as our Cultural identity AT All. But to each, their own truth. Makes me appreciate my Momma the more reading these comments, Smh! However Momma didn't play! LoL.

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